NO BIBLE NO BREAKFAST DAILY BIBLE REFLECTIONS AND MORE

In part one of this blog, we discussed the meaning of leaving and becoming one flesh in marriage. In the part two, we shall focus on nakedness in marriage.

It is important to mention that the foundational Scripture for our discussion is Genesis 2:24-25, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25).

The focus of our deliberation is “ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25). Nakedness in marriage can be understood in the following levels. Mental and emotional nakedness, spiritual nakedness, financial nakedness, and physical nakedness.

Mental and emotional nakedness

Mental and emotional nakedness is when a husband or wife lays bare or shares his or her state of mind with the other spouse. Mental and emotional nakedness are discussed together because usually, a person’s state of mind is reflected in his or her emotions. Courting and married couples must learn to share their thoughts and feelings to enhance proper communication and sensitivity in their relationship. This is what is meant by a problem shared is half solved. It is not a good practice to keep a spouse in suspense or to make the other person guess your mental and emotional status. Mental and emotional nakedness demands that at every given time during our conversations we share that which is troubling our minds or causing the instability of our emotions. It is rather sad that some husbands and wives remain secretive in their marriage relationships. They hardly share their plans and thoughts with their spouses before going ahead to execute them. We should always remember that both success and failure are mutually shared by the couple and for this reason, it is best to be mentally and emotionally naked. If Song of Songs 2:16 says “My beloved is mine, and I am his” then Christian couples should never hide their state of mind and plans from each other. Transparency means mental and emotional nakedness.

Spiritual nakedness.

Spiritual nakedness means to lay bare or share information on one’s object of worship and belief with his or her partner or spouse. Religion and spiritual issues play a very vital role in spouse selection. It is for this reason, if a husband or wife worships some other deity or is a believer in some other religion, he or she must make known this fact to his or her partner even before the decision to marry is taken. It is a gross betrayal to make your spouse believe that you share the same faith with him or her, only for him or her to discover that you are a strong worshipper of something else. For instance, Mr Asamoah before he got married to Mrs Asamoah pretended to be a Christian and made his wife believe that he was a Christian. After about two years of living together as a married couple, Mrs Asamoah discovers that Mr Asamoah belongs to a secret cult that believes in the river god. This development can greatly affect trust and the stability of the marriage relationship. It may also be the case that at the beginning of the relationship both spouses share the same faith and religion but along the line one of the spouses discovers a new religion and decides to be a devotee of the said religion. Spiritual nakedness demands that the new religion and what it entails be shared with the other spouse. When spouses are fully aware of each other’s religion, they better appreciate each other’s acts of worship and practices associated with the said religion without confrontations and suspicions. If a husband or wife is a traditionalist he or she must explain to his or her husband the meaning of the sacrifices and prayers being offered in their home at certain times of the year or months and times of the day it is offered. However, in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, Apostle Paul cautions Christians that “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God;” Again Christian couples who do not share the same Christian denomination must continuously share and help each other appreciate the doctrines and practices associated with their unique Christian denominations.

Financial and material Nakedness.

Financial and material nakedness in marriage means disclosing or sharing information with a person’s spouse about his or her source of income, properties owned or acquired and what he or she uses his or her money or wealth for in their marriage. It is an unfortunate development in most Christian marriages that most spouses have no idea how much their husbands or wives earn a living. They hardly know what they use their money for apart from the contribution they make toward the upkeep of the house. The irony of the situation is that married couples can have sex and see each other’s nakedness yet most are unable to share full information on their finances and properties owned before and during the marriage. This is the rule, once you have access to my body, my most precious gift to you then I deserve to know everything including how much you earn and what you use our money for. The perfect solution to financial nakedness is for couples to have a joint account. The ownership of a joint account makes it easier for us to mutually know how much we earn separately, how much we wish to save together and how we wish to spend our mutually acquired income. Having a joint account takes away suspicions and rather builds trust among couples. In my over twelve years journey as a pastor, some couples feel uncomfortable when the issue of a joint bank account arises during my counselling session with them. I find their reaction interesting and pose the question, why share everything as husband and wife but when it comes to finances some Christian couples raise eyebrows at each other?

Physical Nakedness

I intentionally placed physical nakedness as the last to be discussed because it is well-understood by couples. However physical nakedness becomes an issue when a spouse begins to lose interest in the other’s body or physical appearance. There are times a spouse’s body may undergo some unfavourable changes because of ageing, ailment, vehicular or domestic accident and even due to the mistreatment or abuse by his or her spouse. It is a sin for a spouse to be ashamed of the same body that he or she has hitherto derived satisfaction and fulfilment merely because of the changing circumstances of life. It is unfair and again a sin to body shame one’s spouse and make his or her body feel unattractive. “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19) Let us always remember the marriage vows, that we once upon a time stood before God, family and friends to publicly declare to our spouse. “to have and to hold, from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do part” A husband or wife should be naked before his or her spouse joyfully without any iota of shame regardless of any form of disability on his or her body. The body of your husband or wife is the greatest blessing God has given to you to derive physical and emotional joy and satisfaction. We must all be good stewards of the gift God has given to us.

In conclusion, nakedness in marriage is deeper than we think it is, we must be mentally and emotionally naked, we must be spiritually naked, and again we must be financially and physically naked if we indeed want to build trust and a strong bond of a long and lasting marriage relationship. Shalom.

Rev. Jean-Paul Agidi (Rev)