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Most African cultures frown upon a woman who proposes or shows interest in a man. A lady is usually tagged as “immoral” when she shows interest in a prospective husband. Love and marriage proposal in most African cultures is believed to be the preserve for man. I have had the opportunity to chat with some single ladies who are in their mid to and late 30s. One common phrase that runs through their inability to find a husband is that ” the men are not coming” in other words the men are not showing interest in them. 

Could there be a man out there who probably is interested in a lady but may not be bold enough to actually propose to her although he will be eager to respond to the proposal of the said lady if she rather shows interest and proposes to him? Most ladies are fortunate to have a man approach them and propose love to them but some ladies may not be that fortunate but may rather have some men out there who will be happy to hear these ladies propose to them. 

Journey with me to the book of Ruth. Something very interesting happened there that most Christians overlook when studying the book of Ruth. Noami was an older woman and the mother-in-law of Ruth who deduced that there was some chemistry between Boaz and Ruth although Boaz had not categorically proposed to Ruth. Boaz upon seeing Ruth for the first time had become generous and caring towards her. Ruth, on the other hand, had been a widow for some time and needed to remarry. Noami advised Ruth, “Wash therefore and anoint yourself, and put on your cloak and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking.  But when he lies down, observe the place where he lies. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do.” And she replied, “All that you say I will do.” (Ruth 3:3-5). In other words, Ruth had also fallen in love with Boaz and decided to take a step of revealing her intention to Boaz. There could be two possible reactions from Boaz. Boaz could either reject her offer or accept it if he indeed loved Ruth. Ruth’s action constitutes a non-verbal statement of a proposal to Boaz. I guess the room was dark so Boaz replied “Who are you?” And she answered, “I am Ruth, your servant. Spread your wings over your servant, for you are a redeemer.” And he said, “May you be blessed by the LORD, my daughter. You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich.  And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you ask, for all my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman. (Ruth 3:9-11). It was as if Boaz was expectant to hear the reassuring voice of Ruth, his reply unambiguously indicates that he was equally ready to have Ruth as his prospective wife. Remember Ruth was first to make a decisive and observable statement of love proposal.  

My dear single ladies, you may have all it takes to marry but praying all day or roaming from one prayer camp to the other in search of a husband may not be a solution to your problem. Prayer goes with action. You may be a prayer warrior and could fast 30 days and 30 nights but if you are not discerning enough to read and act on the non-verbal love signs exhibited by that gentleman who has been hanging around you and yearning to care for you but is unable to boldly communicate his intention to you, then you are likely to pray longer and may come to a conclusion that relationship is not your portion. There is no harm in trying, you have nothing to lose but something to gain if the gentleman responds positively. 

In conclusion, the cultural stereotypical image of a man being the proposer of love has actually done more harm to some ladies who had the opportunity to propose to men who could have been their prospective husbands but rather waited for these men to take that step which never happened  Genesis 2:24 says “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh”. It means that the man is expected to marry the woman but when it comes to the proposal of love leading to courtship and marriage either the man or the woman can do the proposal. On a lighter note,  a man should indeed count himself blessed and fortunate to have a lady propose love to him. Finding and proposing love must not be the preserve for men only but for both men and women. Shalom.