My graduation saw friends and family who came to share in my joy. I felt I was on top of the world when I was the first grandaunt to receive my certificate with distinction. Pastor Derick and the wife could not hide their joy as they hugged me and congratulated me for excellent academic performance and for making the church proud. Juanita was colourfully dressed that day and would not stop taking ‘selfies’ with me at the least opportunity she had. She kept on introducing me to her friends who came with her as her husband-to-be. I was glad she was very happy and proud of me. It was one of the most memorable days of my life.
The next big event of my life was my wedding day, a much anticipated day. I was more excited because I was getting married to a rich girl from an affluent family. I could have access to a lot of good things in life and travel abroad. There were church members ready to support me in diverse ways to enable me to have one of the biggest weddings in the history of our church. All our costumes were bought from Dubai and our wedding reception was to be hosted by Fiesta Royale Hotel, a five-star international hotel in Ghana. Food and drinks would be served by a buffet. My bride was to drive in the latest Hammer Limousine accompanied in a convoy of six other V8 SUVs. All said and done we had one of the greatest weddings in the history of our respective churches which caught the attention of some of the media houses in Accra. It was indeed a much-talked-about wedding ceremony even weeks after the event. We had our honeymoon in Vernice, Italy. My first time travelling abroad was a thrilling experience. Hotel Moresco hosted us for the two weeks that we were in Italy and we had a refreshing tour of some of the interesting places in Vernice. Eventually, we had to return to Ghana to prepare for my ordination which was some two weeks away.
We returned to Accra and met an awesome surprise from Juanita’s parents. They came to pick us up from the airport and drove us to an unfamiliar but affluent area of Accra called East Legon. We parked in front of a beautiful building with a white gate bearing the tug ‘House for Sale’. With a wide smile Lawyer and Dr. Mrs Mensah gave us the keys to the four-bedroom house as our wedding gift. My wife and I were mesmerised and blown away by such an unusual kind gesture. We could not hide our appreciation and joy which we showed by embracing them like toddlers who had not seen their parents in weeks. Poverty waved at me in sorrow and I felt victorious. I felt proud of myself for the smart choices I made in life. We went into the already furnished house and dined together.
My ordination was graced by some prominent Bishops who came to help Pastor Derick who was my Bishop to ordain me pastor of our church. My wife and I were both introduced to the church as Pastor and Mrs Asem. Initially, when things were not going well for me I had wanted to change my surname but along the line, I decided to maintain it. I was officially called Pastor Samuel Asem. A young and successful man of God with his beautiful and industrious wife. I was the happiest man in the world. Our church members, family and friends showered us with cash donations and different gifts on the day of my ordination but what beat my imagination was one particular gift that moved me into a trance. I thought I was dreaming till I was led to touch and feel it. My church had surprised me with a Toyota Rav4 SUV as my personal car for ministry as the second minister of The Redeemer Cares International Gospel Church(RCIGC). At the end of the day, I got home with a new car, with our household appliances and whooping cash donations summing up to GHC 50,000. At the age of 35 years, I had accomplished more than my dad did in his entire life. I said to myself, “There are a lot of prospects in the religious sector, now I understand why Pastor Derick as young as he was, was affluent and influential. I saw the church as a place where smart people like me can become very successful.”
I was officially made the second pastor in charge of RCIGC and was given an official office. A fully furnished and air-conditioned office. Mondays were our pastors’ meeting days which we had from 9:00 am to 12:00 noon and then close for the rest of day. I was to report to the office at 8am and close at 5am on Tuesdays and Thursdays but on Wednesdays and Fridays report at 9am and go home after evening Bible and prayer services respectively. Such were my routines. My wife had to get to work by 8:00 therefore she left the house by 6:30am because of the traffic situation in Accra and closed from the office at 5pm but gets home by 7:30pm to 8:00pm. On Wednesdays and Fridays, she comes to evening church programmes before going home. It was expected of an Asafomaame, to be present at all church programmes. We both had our separate cars, therefore, we left the house at separate times and come home separately but on Sundays we often go to church together in the same vehicle.
At the initial stage of our marriage, I ate most of the time outside the home. I felt I was not enjoying home-cooked meals which my mum used to prepare for us. One dawn, I sat my wife down and told her what I expect from her as a wife, she was to get my breakfast ready before going to work, and when she returns before I did she should get my dinner ready before I come back. Juanita felt I was asking too much of her, looking at her work schedules. She made it clear that it was going to be difficult for her to cope with my demand because she comes home tired and had to go to work sometimes stressed. Moreover, weekends are her resting period and she may not be able to go through the tedious task of going to the market and coming back to cook. I became puzzled and retorted,
“Then what is your role as my wife?, are you not supposed to cook for me, how do you expect a person of my calibre to continuously patronize food outside all the time?!”
I asked her indignantly “do you expect me to go to the kitchen to cook?!”
She replied, “Sammy what is wrong if you also go to the kitchen are we not partners and don’t we complement one another?”
I became angrier at her for posing such a stupid question to me. I had to remind her in the loudest possible manner “I am a pastor and the head of the household; you are my wife and must serve and do what I tell without questioning me!”
She got furious and left to take her bath and prepared for work. I guess that was the beginning of our problems. Juanita began to improve a little by at least making sure that there was a flask of hot water and the necessary items needed to fix breakfast before leaving. One evening, before we went to bed she requested to have an important chat with me. I gave her ears and she dropped a suggestion which surprised me a bit but was not out of the ordinary. She wanted us to hire the services of a housemaid who will take care of the house chores and cooking since she was unable to do those tasks because of the nature of her work. Before I could give it a thought she had already done the underground search and had seen one of her friends who had arranged a young lady for her. My wife was persuasive about the whole idea of getting house help. She gave me no other option than to concur to her agenda of freeing herself from wifely responsibilities.
I returned home after a long leader’s meeting only to find a young lady cleaning the plates in the kitchen. We exchanged greetings and I went ahead to find my wife watching television in the sitting room. I asked her who was the lady at the kitchen and she told me she was the new house help we spoke about. Her name is Miriam. She quickly called her to come, the young lady dashed out of the kitchen and appeared before us with her hands at her back.
“You meet my husband, Pastor Samuel Asem.”
I spent some time to find out who she was and where she came from. I made her sit even though she appeared shy in our presence. Miriam was an underprivileged girl of 22 years old who came to Accra to hustle. Her home town is Praso, hitherto, she had been a hawker who found life on the street unbearable and decided to work as a house help. I assured her to feel at ease but to be humble and be obedient and she would enjoy her stay in our home. Meriam had already started calling us daddy and mummy which we were comfortable with.
The problem of house cleaning and cooking chores which I expected my wife to do were solved. Miriam was a hardworking young lady. She would sweep and mop the entire house on weekends, wash our things when they piled up in the laundry basket. In addition, she was an exceptional cook, we were lucky to have such an awesome house help. We had no problem leaving the house under her care whenever we had to travel.
Amidst the things that were happening in my life which I will describe as a good life, I still had personal issues I was battling with at home and at church. My desire for sex was insatiable and coupled with that was my addiction to pornography. My wife was unable to cope with my consistent demands for sex almost every night. She made me furious with her “I am tired” excuses. I had to make it clear to her sometimes in a loud voice that it was her responsibility to satisfy me sexually without complaining. In some instances, I had to force her and make love to her. Juanita, would sometimes move into the guest room and lock herself up then come and dress up and leave for work in the morning. I usually spend hours watching pornographic videos and images on the internet at the office when I had no one to attend to. The more I watched them the more I wanted to try the new sex styles I am watching on my wife. There were times I tried to make love to her for an hour at night. My wife became fed up with my excessive demand for sex and the types of strange roles and sex positions I imposed on her which gave her excruciating pains and rendered her tired before going to work.
One Saturday afternoon, Juanita insisted that we go to the beach to spend some time together. When we got to the beach my wife started weeping whiles pouring out her heart.
“Sammy, what have you turned into, you find it difficult to control yourself and always treating me like a sex slave in bed, for God’s sake I am your wife and not a prostitute. I strongly suggest you see Clinical psychologist to help you. I can’t allow you to rape me anymore, you keep hurting me and you don’t even care about how I feel after having your way with me. Sammy, I am tired and I can’t continue staying with you if you continue to treat me like this”
I became dump and replied with remorse,
“Baby, I am sorry I never meant to harm you in any way. I promise it won’t happen again. I don’t need a clinical psychologist, I believe I need to intensify my prayers and fasting, the devil is trying to destroy our beautiful marriage.”
I wiped her tears, hugged and kissed her on the forehead. We spent some time at the beach watching those who were swimming and whiling away time in the sand and afterwards drove home. I had promised my wife never to abuse her sexually again and was determined to keep my word but I was still not satisfied with the number of times I make love to her. I felt something terribly wrong with me when I am not sexually satisfied.
On one faithful Thursday, a young lady came to my office with an issue she wanted me to help her solve. She was married to one of the committed men and financiers of our church. This man was very industrious and financially supported a lot of projects in the church. Mrs Stella Boahene, the young woman in her late twenties was married to this industrious man who was in his late forties. After giving her a warm reception, she was shy and uncomfortable about what she wanted to say therefore I took time to reassure her of our ethical principle of confidentiality.
With a dull face and teary eyes, she started narrating her problem. “Pastor, I don’t feel like a woman in my marriage, my husband is practically married to his business and spends less time with me. He makes me feel lonely although I am married, above all, he is sexually weak. Pastor, I think I have made the worst mistake marrying this man” “Sister Stella, please don’t conclude like that, have faith and be sure that our Lord will intervene” I said to console her.
“Pastor Sammy, for how long will I keep going through this, initially I thought money was the key to true happiness but it turned out to be false, I have all the money I had always wanted, I even have my own car and yet I feel my joy is incomplete, I don’t have a child of my own and my husband is not a man enough” She started wailing profusely.
I could feel she was giving up on her marriage. Even when I was praying with her she was still crying. I consoled her and gave her some Scripture texts to be reading and praying with before our next meeting the following week.
After she left, I began to feel pity for myself and I said to myself,
“Lord, this is the type of lady I should have married, a woman who will appreciate my effort and give me her best in bed”
I concluded that the world was not a fair place at all. Here is a lady who needs a man like me and she found a man whose priority is to make huge money and acquire wealth. I called her in the evening to check up on her and began to tell her how I empathize with her predicament. Eventually, Sister Stella became comfortable whenever she heard my voice, she confessed on the phone;
“ Pastor Sammy, I wish my husband was like you, you know how to treat a woman and make her feel special, anytime I hear your voice I feel like an angel is ministering to me” Such profound words made me feel needed in her life.
I realised that there was a strong bond of affection developing between Stella and me. I knew it was wrong but I could hardly redraw myself from such an unwholesome relationship. The climax of our mutual feeling towards each other happened when she visited me at the office for a counselling and prayer session. There was something unusual and sinister about her apparel that day. The dress she wore had part of her breast exposed and that obviously got my attention and patronage. Usually, I would pray for anyone that comes to me with my office desk in between us but that particular day I decided to move closer to her and held her hands so she could appreciate my unflinching concern for her. As the prayer got intense, I felt my hands were being placed and encouraged to pursue an exercise I can only describe as fondling. Sincerely, I began missing my words and saying things that I did not even understand myself. I was confused and burdened with a dilemma of whether to respond positively or negatively to her appeal. Indeed I was carried away with the task I was inadvertently lured to do which is the fondling of her breast. I stopped praying, opened my eyes and felt my lips clinched to her lips.
“Wait we can’t do this here Sister Stella,” I said with a nervous but ambitious voice. She replied with a pitiful voice and tears running down her round cheeks, “Pastor Sam, I have been starved too long by that man who calls himself my husband, please I won’t ask of this favour again, I quickly held the handle of the door, locked it and made love to her at the office”
My heart was unusually beating very fast, knowing anyone at all can come knocking at my door. Stella won’t let go of me and kept moaning and mentioning my name, “Pastor Sam, you are good, please don’t stop, I love you…” Eventually, we came to the end of an act one would least expect to witness in a pastor’s office. She quickly dressed up and asked permission to leave. After her departure I exclaimed;
“What have I just done? Oh my God, I just slept with a church member’s wife”
I sat hopelessly in my chair and was not ready to see anyone who wanted to come to me for any pastoral assistance. There were a lot of thoughts running through my mind, this was the first time I have ever slept with another man’s wife and couple with the fact that I am a pastor and a married man. What complex web had I gotten myself into?
The following day Stella called to apologize for what she led me to do. In an indifferent tone I told her to try and forget about it, it was the devil who led us into such an evil act.
“Stella, what happened between us is a serious sin and must be kept secret, let us act as if something of this sort never happened between the two of us”.
“Yes pastor” she innocently replied.
I advised her to focus on her marriage and do her best to love her husband regardless of the challenges she is facing. Weeks passed and Stella kept having constant communication with me. Consequently, some of her phrases got me shivering. She began calling me romantic names such as ‘sweetheart’ and ‘my superman’. It was clear Stella was not ready to let go of me. One hot afternoon, she gave me a video whiles I was at the office and she informed me that the husband had gone on a business trip and will be back after three weeks. Upon realising Stella’s intentions towards me, I had already become passive and indifferent towards her until that fateful afternoon when she shook my foundations again with that video call.
“My Superman, I have missed your touches, my breast is yearning for your gentle handling”
“Stella!” I yelled at her, “are you crazy, what has come over you, do you know that if you continue like this we could be in serious trouble?”
She replied in a rather flirtatious voice “come on, sweetheart, we said it was going to be our little secret, right?”
Before I could open my mouth, Stella uncovered her body by removing the cloth she had around her body, she took time to show me her naked body in an enticing manner.
“Baby, all this belongs to you, don’t you like the size of my boobs and ass and the warmth of my body?”
I became instantly hypnotized and completely moved into a frantic desire of touching her again. I ended the call and exclaimed “wow”. I told myself I loved my wife and won’t do that anymore. Whiles at the office after the video call I decided I was going to go to her end and give her a stern warning to desist from the fruitless enterprise she wanted to drug me into. I was not going to be a part of that anymore. I gave called to inform her that I was coming and obviously, she was glad.
I got to Stella’s house and she welcomed in the very cloth she removed in the video call. She wanted to hug me but I rejected the kind gesture. I went ahead with my mission for visiting. When I began passionately talking and venting out my displeasure concerning her misdeeds, she approached me and knelt down before me and said
“Pastor Sam, I know you are married and coupled with that you are our second pastor and shouldn’t have done that with me, but please just for the last time and I promise I will never disturb you again, please make love to me for the very last time Pastor Sam”
I stood and lifted my head up gazing at the ceiling with confusion whiles she held my knees and passionately begged me to have sex with her for the last time. I felt blackmailed by such a disingenuous request. I looked down into her face and asked her a sincere question;
“Are you sure of what you are saying, that if I make love to you for the very last time you will stop bothering me? Look Stella, I still love my wife and I don’t want to hurt her. Please this will be the last time and I will have nothing to do with you again.” Together, we lay on the woollen carpet and did the forbidden.
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