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REFLECTION

Radiant and ruddy is the theme for our reflection. Radiant means shining or glowing brightly. Ruddy, on the other hand, describes a person’s face as having a fresh and healthy red complexion. In most parts of the world, men are considered to be the more assertive gender in proposing love or wooing the opposite sex into a relationship. In most male-dominated societies, especially in Africa, women hardly express their love for their husbands in the public domain. Even in their matrimonial homes, wives are not cultured or nurtured to be expressive in their desires about sex and how they feel about their husbands. It is usually the other way round.

Women, single or married are accustomed to hearing prospective suitors or their husbands talk about their beauty and physical qualities and other attributes. In today’s reflection, we find a bride being poetically assertive and expressive about how she sees and feels about her husband to her friends. She describes him as “My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand.” (Song of Songs 5:10). For the rest of the verses, she uses similes to compare him to the beauty of nature such as gold, raven, doves, streams of water, sweet-smelling spices, lilies, jewels, ivory and more. (Song of Songs 5:11-16) A person who is described as radiant is one who exudes happiness and a person who is described as ruddy is one who has a fresh-looking body with a healthy red complexion. In other words, the bride finds happiness and pleasure in the body of her husband and she is proud of his complexion. Do you still find happiness in your spouse and are you proud of who God has given you in the person of your husband or wife even after years of marriage? The bride boasts that her husband is “distinguished among ten thousand men” It means when ten thousand men lined up before her, she will always choose her current husband. What an amazing show of love and confidence in a spouse!

Dear friend, if you are given one minute to describe your spouse, what will you say about him or her? In some marriages, couples have become so used to one another that they take each other for granted and no longer see and appreciate each other’s special qualities or attributes. No spouse is perfect yet there is something beautiful, amazing and special about your husband or wife that makes him or her stand out among other men or women in your life. If you hardly find these qualities or if you no longer find those special qualities that make you want to continue spending the rest of your life with your husband or wife then there is a problem.

We must spend our time and energy identifying and focusing on our spouses’ good attributes or qualities. It revives the marriage and encourages a partner not to relent in the good he or she does to keep the other partner happy. There is no perfect spouse in a marriage relationship but those who are determined and faithful to their partners will always represent perfection. Let us not take our partners for granted, our marriages maybe five years or decades old but let us always remember and be determined to treat our spouses with respect and dignity. Be proud of him or her by focusing more on his or her strength and unique qualities even as you endure his or her weaknesses while prayerfully and patiently helping him or her to overcome them. It is a fallacy or a mirage to think that there is always someone better than your faithful spouse who has few weaknesses just as you do. Be proud of who have as a spouse, love him or her, give him or her your best and let him or her radiate the joy you have always wanted. Let your spouse be distinguished among ten thousand men or women! Shalom.

PRAYER

Almighty God, revive relationships and marriages that are on the verge of collapsing, help us to acknowledge and appreciate the unique qualities of our spouses, and strengthen us to focus on them to ignite and keep the flame of love burning in our marriages. May we continually experience the radiance of happiness and beauty of love in our relationships and marriages as believers. Amen