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REFLECTION
A woman replaced is the theme for our reflection. To be replaced means to be put in place of another person who had hitherto occupied a role or an office. We shall examine the fact that most male-dominated and controlled societies desire and favour a submissive woman over an assertive woman therefore a woman who is considered assertive and unsubmissive or disobedient is more likely to be divorced or replaced with a more submissive, humble and respectful woman.

Beloved in the Lord, a woman was replaced, who was this woman? Her name is Queen Vashti. Esther was her replacement because ” the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favour and approval more than any of the other virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti.” (Esther 2:17). Why was Queen Vashti replaced? We are told that “On the seventh day, when King Xerxes was in high spirits from wine, he commanded the seven eunuchs who served him…to bring before him Queen Vashti, wearing her royal crown, in order to display her beauty to the people and nobles, for she was lovely to look at. ¹² But when the attendants delivered the king’s command, Queen Vashti refused to come. Then the king became furious and burned with anger..“According to law, what must be done to Queen Vashti?” he asked. “She has not obeyed the command of King Xerxes that the eunuchs have taken to her.”
¹⁶ Then Memukan replied in the presence of the king and the nobles, “Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes. ¹⁷ For the queen’s conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands and say, ‘King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.’ ¹⁸ This very day the Persian and Median women of the nobility who have heard about the queen’s conduct will respond to all the king’s nobles in the same way. There will be no end of disrespect and discord.
¹⁹ “Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media, which cannot be repealed, that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Xerxes. Also let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better than she. ²⁰ Then when the king’s edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest.” Esther 1:10-12,15-20)

Beloved in the Lord, from time immemorial, women were desirable in marriage so long as they were beautiful and submissive or respectful to their husbands. The only sin Queen Vashti committed that warranted her replacement was that she refused to obey the King or her husband’s command to display her beauty to his guests. Again, we are told the King or her husband gave the command when he was intoxicated with wine, in other words, drunk! We could say that Vashti saw her value as a woman reduced to a sight of pleasure and entertainment before men, therefore she became assertive by making such a strong statement through her refusal to appear before the King or her husband. In other words, she felt she was only important because “she was lovely to look at” (Esther 1:11). In my considered view I do not see much change in our societies today, the media especially the mundane music industry still portrays women as though they were only useful so long they appeared sexy and beautiful in the eyes of men. Women are paid to appear naked in music videos while men are fully covered to the neck. The sexist view of women’s bodies as a sight of beauty, pleasure and entertainment continues to be reinforced by popular culture. Social media skits have overwhelmingly demonstrated the fact that women who are more likely to expose their bodies and perform sexual roles are more desirable to watch than descent and assertive ones who create educative social media content. Indeed a woman is considered humble or submissive if she obeys the command of her husband or male counterpart even to her detriment. We live in a world where the appropriateness of a woman’s conduct and its acceptability is judged and determined by men. Queen Vashti was not replaced because she failed to give a speech or display her wisdom, knowledge or intelligence, she was replaced because she failed to avail her body to entertain the King and his guests with her beauty. The question is would Queen Vashti remain relevant to King Xerxes if her beauty had faded due to ageing or would she still be relevant or important for public viewing if her face had been disfigured due to an accident? Queen Vashti’s conduct was considered or interpreted by an all-men-council as disrespectful because her society which is dominated by men in leadership desires women who are accustomed to total submission and obedience to a man’s wish and command even if it is to their detriment, displeasure or adversely affect their human dignity.

Esther would become Vashti’s replacement in a world completely dominated and controlled by men. A world where the influence of her queenship is more limited to women. Esther will remain relevant as queen so long as she is submissive and respectful to the King by doing whatever he requests of her. Esther’s background as a Jew, an exile and a foreigner would even make her more vulnerable than Vashti as Queen. She would have to be submissive, very tactful and wise to navigate as a woman in men’s world. There are many women in our time who are likely to stay single or divorced like Vashti because of their assertiveness and sense of self-worth. Their boldness to question the appropriateness of a man’s actions especially when it is detrimental to their dignity is more likely to be misconstrued as disrespectful and unsubmissiveness by a society largely dominated and controlled by men. On the other hand, women who are accustomed to obeying every command given to them by their husbands even to their detriment are more likely to be considered suitable for marriage and are more likely to stay in marriage so long as they continue to be respectful and submissive without questioning the authority and command of their husbands.

Beloved in the Lord, women also have emotional needs and dignity to be preserved and respected as human beings just as men do. God did not create a society where women would easily be divorced and replaced simply because they were trying to be assertive or make their voices heard. Jesus had respect for women and their dignity during His earthly ministry. His attitude towards women made them feel dignified, respected and resourceful. He listened to them and responded to their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. Examples are Jesus and the Samaritan woman, (John 4:5-30) Jesus with Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42) Jesus and the adulterous woman (John 8:1-11). Jesus’ relationship with women brought transformation into their lives and also made them resourceful to His ministry. Luke tells us that “…Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, ² and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; ³ Joanna the wife of Chuza, the manager of Herod’s household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.” (Luke 8:1-3). Again, Paul drew inspiration from Jesus’ love for the church and admonished us that “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body… However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25-30,33). In other words, in a marriage relationship, love and respect for one another is mutual and complimentary. Love and respect between a husband and a wife must be unconditionally shared. Christian men must imitate Jesus’ attitude towards women and women must also compliment the love and care of their husbands with godly submission and respect even as husbands carry out their divine roles as servant-leaders of the union and family. My dear Christian men, let us not rush or make hasty decisions to replace our wives just to please family and friends who do not like them or think they are too assertive hence disobedient and unsubmissive. We may be angry at some of the conduct or actions of our spouses but let us hasten slowly and allow our lives to be guided by God’s word and will.

In summary, we have reflected on the theme “A woman replaced” We have learnt that most male-dominated and controlled societies desire and favour a submissive woman over an assertive woman therefore a woman who is considered assertive and unsubmissive or disobedient is more likely to be divorced or replaced with a more submissive, humble and respectful woman.

PRAYER
1. How do you treat your wife at home, do you respect her opinion or views?
2. Is your wife only valuable or important to you because of her beauty and bodily features?
3. What qualities apart from your wife’s physical appearance are you proud of? Have you made this fact known to her?
4. Would you replace your current wife or partner if you had the opportunity? If yes why?

PRAYER
Holy Spirit, teach us to value our spouses. Help us to unlearn values of our culture and society that denigrate women or adversely affect their dignity and worth. Strengthen us to raise a generation of godly men and women who will live together in mutual love, respect and submission. Amen.