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EXAMPLES OF RECONCILIATION: JACOB AND ESAU (GENESIS 33:1-17)

REFLECTION

“Examples of reconciliation: Jacob and Esau” is the theme for our reflection. Reconciliation is the restoration of a broken relationship. Jacob and Esau were both children of Isaac and Rebecca. When Isaac was dying, Jacob, with Rebekah’s help, cheated Esau out of his father’s blessing. Esau would have killed Jacob, but Jacob fled; when he returned 20 years later, Esau forgave him. We shall reflect on the fact that reconciliation heals our years of emotional wounds and pains, and takes away our years of guilt.

Beloved in the Lord, when we cheat and hurt people they live with emotional wounds and pains for many years. The emotional wound or pain is borne out of disappointment, bitterness, hurt, regret and unforgiveness. This was the state of Esau when his mother (Rebecca) and brother(Jacob) conspired to deny him of his everlasting inheritance and blessings which every first son receives from the Father before his demise. Out of anger, bitterness pain, regret and disappointment, Esau, said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” (Genesis 27:41). Dear friend let us be careful in our dealings with family and friends. Our selfish acts may cause the people who love us great pain and disappointment for many days, months and years. Many have suffered unbearable pain and disappointment in marriage and relationships because of an unfaithful and self-centred partner. Esau trusted his brother and mother and never believed that they could conspire to cause him so much pain. The greatest hurt comes from the people we love and trust the most. For some people, this kind of pain or hurt has hastened their death. Some have suffered physical and mental health issues as the result of hurt, shock and disappointment. For those of us who have been victims of disappointment and unfaithfulness in relationships, how long will you keep nursing this emotional wound and pain you have suffered from that brother, sister, parent, friend or colleague at work? It must come to an end! It is important to note that you have a role to play in bringing an end to many days, months and years of emotional pain. Your role is to take a decision to forgive and reconcile with the one who has offended you. You are not only forgiving your offender but you are in the process of finding internal peace and healing through reconciliation. This was the approach of Esau.

Again, it is important to note that we shall live with guilt when we become the source of people’s emotional injury and pain. We shall become restless and insecure and have no peace when people continue to be hurt by our acts and omissions. This was the state of Jacob after cheating or stealing his brother’s blessing many years ago. We see Jacob’s expression of fear and guilt when he “…looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants. ² He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. ³ He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. (Genesis 33:1-3) Belove in the Lord, for Esau to find peace and healing, and for Jacob’s many years of fear and guilt to come to an end, “…Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. ⁵ Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children.” (Genesis 33:4-5). They wept because love has replaced pain and guilt and the burden of many years of hostility and separation has come to an end. Dear friend, reconciliation buries many years of hostility, resentment and bitterness but resurrects love, compassion and forgiveness. Just as pain can make us weep, forgiveness and restoration of a broken relationship can also cause us to weep. This will be tears of joy and reconciliation. It is like the joy of finding a lost brother or sister and loving him or her again as if nothing ever happened. This is the true meaning of reconciliation. Both the offendee and the offender must be willing to embrace one another. The effect of reconciliation is that we find total healing, restoration and peace. Dear friend, God is speaking to you today through this reflection. Have you hurt someone who cared and loved you in the past? Do you remember betraying the person who loved you in the past? It is time to seek for forgiveness and reconciliation to end the days of guilt and hostility. It is a bold step you must take in humility. If you find it difficult, talk to your pastor or any God-fearing person to accompany you to this person you have hurt in the past. It does not matter whether the person will forgive you or not, the most important thing is to prove to him or her that you are remorseful and you seek his or her forgiveness and reconciliation. Usually, the short phrase, “I have offended you, please forgive me” is like a hot knife through butter. It easily penetrates a hurting heart and breaks down the walls of hostility and bitterness. What are you waiting for, pray and start the process of reconnecting with the people you have hurt in the past and present. I encourage you to start the process of reconnecting with the people you are no longer in good relationship with because of the misunderstandings of the past or present.

Beloved in the Lord, if it is possible to appease a person you have hurt in the past, please do so. He or she may take the appeasement or not. Jacob proved his readiness to ask for forgiveness and to appease Esau. “Esau asked, “What’s the meaning of all these flocks and herds I met?” “To find favor in your eyes, my lord,” he said. ⁹ But Esau said, “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.” ¹⁰ “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. ¹¹ Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.” And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it. (Genesis 33:8-11) It is not proper to steal from someone and when asking forgiveness you go with an empty hand. If the thing is replaceable please replace it to prove your seriousness with the reconciliation process. Even if it is irreplaceable it is good to present a symbol of appeasement. The person may however, genuinely forgive you without taking the symbol of appeasement but it would have communicated to him or her your strong desire and willingness to restore the broken relationship.

In summary, we have reflected on the theme “Examples of Reconciliation: Jacob and Esau.” We have discovered that reconciliation heals our years of emotional wounds and pains, and takes away our years of guilt.

PRAYER
Holy Spirit, strengthen us to forgive and reconcile with those who have hurt us in the past and present. May we experience healing, restoration and peace even as we forgive and reconcile with those who have hurt us. Amen.