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MUTUAL AFFECTION (SONGS OF SOLOMON 1:9-17)

REFLECTION

Mutual affection is the theme for our reflection. Mutual affection means having the same feelings for one another. Mutual affection is a reflection of intimacy in a marital relationship. An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical closeness between husband and wife and may include sexual intimacy. We shall reflect on the fact that intimacy and effective communication create, promote and strengthen mutual affection.

Beloved in the Lord mutual affection does not happen in the air. It happens due to intimacy and effective communication between a husband and a wife. When a husband and wife share the bond of intimacy and verbally and non-verbally communicate their love for one another, it leads to mutual affection. We saw an example of intimacy and communication of affection demonstrated when Solomon said to her lover, “How beautiful you are, my darling!

Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.” (Song of Songs 1:15). The lady also demonstrated her mutual affection for Solomon by replying “How handsome you are, my beloved Oh, how charming! (Song of Songs 1:16) Solomon and his lover effectively communicated their mutual affection for one based on their intimate relationship.

Beloved in the Lord, mutual affection will not be felt or experienced when one of the spouses or partners is always at the receiving end of the relationship. Intimacy and communication is a give and take affair. Mutual affection in marriage is founded on the principle of “quid pro quo”. In other words, something for something. If two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (Ecclesiastes 4:11). In other words, mutual affection and expression require a husband and wife who are equally yoked together in love. When love is given, love must be given in return. When peace is given, peace must be given in return. w When appreciation is given, appreciation must be given in return. When affection is expressed, affection must be expressed in return. When a kiss is given, a kiss must be received in return. When sex is given, sex must given in return. When a smile is given, a smile must given in return. Intimacy and communication form the spinal cord of every long-lasting and meaningful relationship. When there is genuine mutual affection in our marriage relationships, nothing will be clouded in secrecy, there will be transparency, faithfulness, fearless vulnerability and trust. The power and effect of mutual affection that finds expression in intimacy and communication is found in Genesis 2:24-25 where both the husband and his wife were of one flesh and were emotionally, financially, physically and spiritually naked felt no shame in each others company. Dear friend in Christ, do you share mutual affection with your spouse? Is your intimacy deep or shallow and is your communication poor or effective? One beautiful thing about a marriage relationship is that we can always renew our vows to one another. Mutual affection is God’s will for every marriage, therefore, Let us go back to our spouses and reconnect the broken cords of intimacy and communication so that we can experience many years of mutual affection till death separates us.

In summary, we have discovered one of the most important things every spouse seeks in a marriage relationship is mutual affection. However, mutual affection does not just happen by accident, it takes intimacy and effective communication to create, promote and strengthen mutual affection in a marriage relationship. Shalom.

PRAYER

Holy Spirit, strengthen us to love our spouses unconditionally and may we continually experience mutual affection in our marriages. Amen.