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Mr. Akamagi Vrs Mrs Akamagi

Case Brief: Misunderstanding bothering on independence and decision-making of a wife without the consent of the husband.

Plaintiff – Mr. Dan Akamagi

Defendants – Mrs Alberta Akamagi

Judge: Jean-Paul Agidi (Rev)

Jean-Paul (Rev): Mr Akamagi, kindly state the reason for coming before this honourable Church court.

Mr Akamagi(Plaintiff): Your honour, I have been married to this woman standing here for the past three years.

Jean-Paul (Rev): Is she not your wife? Why refer to her as “this woman” Please address her appropriately.

Mr Akamagi: I am sorry, your honour, I spoke out of anger and disappointment. Your honour, Mrs Akamagi my lawfully wedded wife is the Human Resource Manager at R & C Ghana LTD. She is undoubtedly a hard-working woman. Your Honour, the only challenge I have with my wife for which we have come to you for a determination is that she spends little time at home. Her parents live in Adenta. Almost every weekend my wife is at her parent’s house. On the weekends that she does not visit her parents, she accompanies her friends to either a wedding ceremony or a funeral. Your honour, for the past three years I can hardly count the number of times my wife and I have spent our weekends together as husband and wife. When I complained, she said to me ” Dan, I am an independent woman and cannot be controlled, after all, I don’t use your car and I buy my own fuel. I need nothing from you, Dan!” Your honour, I am sorry if this is how my wife wants to live her marriege life then we may have to divorce. She has forced me to get a house help who practically does everything that a wife ought to do for her husband. The absence of my wife in our marriage is overwhelmingly obvious.

Jean-Paul (Rev): Mrs Akamagi any statement of defence to your husband’s claim?

Mrs Akamagi (Defendant): Yes your honour, I want this inconsiderate man to understand that I am his wife and not his slave!

Jean-Paul (Rev): Mrs Akamagi, please rephrase your last statement in a manner worthy of a Christian.

Mrs Akamagi: I am sorry your honour. I want my husband to understand that I am his wife and partner therefore he should not treat me as if I am his dependent. Your honour, before we got married, I had already acquired my Bachelor’s and Masters’s degrees from the University of Ghana with an enviable career at R and C Ghana LTD and even bought an apartment. This is the apartment we now live in as a married couple. Your honour, my parents have played immeasurable roles in my life. In return, I must love and care for them. Thankfully they are alive and doing well. I deem it fit to spend time with them when I have the chance. I am a career woman and very busy during the working days of the week. Weekends are the only available time to visit my parents. Initially, when we got married, my husband and I used to spend our weekends at my parents’ house but along the line, he stopped going with me. He was of the view that our visit was becoming rampant therefore we should also learn to spend most weekends together. Your Honour, what is wrong with visiting my home regularly, am I now a stranger in my parents’ house? He also complains about my friends, Indeed, your honour, my friends are very dear to my heart, we have been together even before I met my husband. I cannot allow marriage to set me apart from my friends. In brief your honour,I expect my husband to also visit his parents if he wishes to do so or go out with his friends when he feels like doing so. I don’t think I will ever prevent him, therefore, I expect him to treat me the same!

Judgment of Jean-Paul (Rev)

Jean-Paul (Rev): Having listened to both of you, I shall proceed to identify the key issues in the facts presented by the Plaintiff, Mr Akagami and the defendant, Mrs Akagami. The issues to be resolved are:

1. Whether or not Mrs Akamagi has unlimited independence and liberty to spend time with family and friends as a married woman?

2. Whether or not Mrs Akamagi’s academic and economic achievement renders her to act suo moto (unilaterally) without the consent of the husband?

In the Christian or Church Court, the Scripture or Bible is the only Source of law that is employed to resolve issues that are put before it for a determination. The Scripture being the only source of law is found in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 which stipulates that” All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

On the first issue, whether or not Mrs Akamagi has unlimited independence and liberty to spend time with family and friends as a spouse? The Biblical principles to turn to is found in Genesis 2:24 which states that “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). A person at all material times before his or her marriage is presumed to be under the guidance and protection of the parents. Marriage was created by God so that a mature man and woman who have agreed to live together as husband and wife will leave their respective parents, family and friends and be united as one entity, in other words, “become one flesh“. The word “to leave” is not a term of art but a word that reflects God’s intention to fulfil His Will in the lives of a married couple, to guarantee their privacy and mutual independence free from any form of encumbrances or impediments. The word or phrase “leave” as found in Genesis 2:24 must be construed to mean a physical departure from one’s parent and home to form a new unit. To leave should also be understood as psychological and emotional detachment from a person’s parents and rebonding psychologically and emotionally with one’s spouse. If a man and woman by virtue of marriage would be mandated to stay together in a particular location for the rest of their lives then it goes to reason that they must bond physically, mentally and emotionally. Considering the foregoing understanding of God’s intention for marriage by considering the keyword “leave” in Genesis 2:24, a married man or woman does not have unlimited independence and liberty to go back to parents, other family members and friends without regard to his or her spouse while the marriage still subsists. To be frequenting family and friends at the detriment of a spouse offends the understanding of the word “leave” in Genesis 2:24. We may occasionally visit family and friends but not make it a routine. It may become a routine when we have aged and sick parents to attend to. According to the fact presented, the parents of Mrs Akamagi are in good health and they do not need any assistance regularly. I, therefore, find Mrs Akamagi guilty of not fulfilling the principle of “leaving and becoming one flesh” with the husband as stipulated in Genesis 2:24. The frequency of her visit to her parents at Adenta, the inconsiderate manner and rampant nature Mrs Akamagi accompanies her friends to weddings and funeral programmes point to the fact that she has not settled in her marriage for the past threes years or has not completely left the parents and friends to her marital home physically, psychologically and emotionally.

On the second issue of whether or not Mrs Akamagi’s academic and economic achievement renders her to act suo moto(unilaterally) without the consent of her husband? The phrase suo moto is a trite legal term that I wish to apply in the realm of Christian marriage to mean a spouse acting on his or her own without the consent of the husband or the wife. The Biblical principle that resolves the second issue is “…each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33) The Bible does not give any condition a spouse must fulfil before he or she is loved or respected, therefore no matter one’s achievement, success or development in life, he or she must be loved and respect by his or her spouse. The Lord’s blessings in the form of financial abundance, academic qualifications, good jobs and promotions are all meant to make life enjoyable and comfortable for married couples and their family. Whatever a person’s achievements in life that should never determine how he or she relates with the spouse. Regardless of a person’s achievement, the principle in Ephesians 5:33 instructs the husband or wife to love and respect his or her spouse and be in ad idem(in agreement) with him or her without acting suo moto( acting independently or without the consent of the other). On the second issue, I find Mrs Akamagi guilty of acting independently without the consent of her husband because she feels she is already well accomplished before meeting Mr Akamagi. Marriage is for the mature and economically independent and when it comes to decision making couples are interdependent and not independent. Mrs Akamagi, must pray for forgiveness, and be placed on a three-month counselling session, two months without the husband and one month with the husband. She must consistently study Scripture together with the husband for a spiritual reformation and emotional rebonding of the marriage. May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you two and may your marriage be revived through the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Jean-Paul Agidi (Rev) – Judge, Christian Court.