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One of the widely used Scripture in wedding ceremonies is Genesis 2:24-25. We shall delve deep into the key phrases in this Scripture and appreciate their implication for Christian marriage.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25)

The first fact Genesis 2:24 presents to us is that, marriage involves leaving. Leaving means to go away from someone or something, for a short time or permanently. In the context of Christ marriage, the man and the woman go away permanently from their respective parents and start a new family. It again leads to the obvious conclusion that a woman will be willingly taken away permanently from her parents to be married to her husband and they will together remain as family permanently.

Leaving must be understood in three levels

The first level of leaving is physical leaving. The man and woman must practically and physically leave their respective parents and start their new family and home elsewhere. Leaving means packing bags and baggage to settle in one’s marital home. The reality is that some men marry but are still living in their parent’s house. It is highly recommended that even if a man will live in his parents’ home, he must physically determine a boundary that cannot be easily encroached upon or stepped into by third parties. One of the greatest enemies of marriage is the physical interference of third parties no matter who they are. It is God’s will for a man and woman to have their own privacy and physical space which is under their control and devoid of any interference unless permitted. There are countless examples of marriages being interfered with by third parties because the couples live in a family house or in a space they have no control over. This could be a source of challenge in the marriage.

The second level is psychological and emotional leaving. There is indeed a strong bond between some parents and their children to the extent that these children have become psychologically and emotionally attached to their parents. Although they are married and have physically left their parents, they are still under the control of their parents psychologically and emotionally. There are examples of couples who easily run to their parents for solace or refuge when they are supposed to face and resolve issues with their spouses in their marital homes. Parents sometimes take the place of their children and begin to fight with their children’s spouses instead of taking a neutral position and helping both parties to resolve issues amicably for the continuity of the marriage. Couples must understand that marriage makes a demand on us to psychologically and emotionally leave our parents and bond with our spouses psychologically and emotionally. The same principle applies to our friends and acquaintances. Our friends no matter how close they were to us must not become extensions of our marriages.

The third level of leaving must be in the form of independence and maturity. One of the factors a young man and woman must consider before deciding to enter into a marriage relationship is whether they are financially independent and matured enough to navigate through life’s challenges. There is a high probability that if your parents continue to feed you and pay your bills while you are married, they will play a pivotal role in making major decisions in your marriage. In other words, interference takes place when we become dependent on others financially. A young man or woman must ensure that he or she is gainfully employed or has a skill that brings him or her sufficient income before taking that bold step to leave his or her parent into marriage. Having said that parents, siblings and friends are there to support us financially in times of emergency and unavoidable situations that may push us into debt such as the prolonged sickness of a spouse and its associated expensive medical bills. We must be in the best position as a married couple to handle daily issues, household expenditures, utility bills and the education of our children as a sign of independence and maturity.

Becoming one flesh

A husband and wife “… shall become one flesh.” ( Genesis 2:24-25). In other words, a marriage relationship is not complete without the unity of mind, will, body and spirit of the husband and wife. This physical bond and unity must be inseparable, that is why Mark 10:9 says that “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” With the bond of unity, the couple can face the challenges of life and celebrate together their mutually achieved successes. If indeed a husband and his wife are of one flesh then they must share practically everything in common and be ever ready to assist one another in times of trouble or hardship. Because the husband and his wife are of one flesh, Paul teaches us that “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. (Ephesians 5:28-30). Two important and indispensable pillars that will enable the couple to remain one flesh are communication and intimacy. A husband and wife must ensure that these two pillars of a successful marriage must be practised and honoured in their marriage.

In conclusion, God created the institution of marriage to strictly be between a man and a woman. For the marriage to succeed they must both leave their respective parents and become one flesh. Shalom.

PART 2 of this blog will discuss “being naked and not ashamed”. It will be posted soon. Thank you.

Jean-Paul Agidi (Rev)