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MARRIAGE AND REMARRIAGE (LUKE 10:1-12)

REFLECTION
“Marriage and remarriage” is the theme for our reflection. Marriage is an institution ordained by God through the spiritual and physical union of a man and a woman who have agreed to share emotional and physical intimacy, various tasks and economic resources. In other words, marriage as a union is submitting to God’s will and institution of holy matrimony to share one’s life with another in love and for life. Remarriage in the context of our reflection is divorcing one’s spouse and reuniting with another man or woman in marriage while the ex-spouse is still alive. We shall reflect on the fact that Marriage is the creation of God but divorce and remarriage are the creation of humanity.

Beloved in the Lord, marriage is the creation of God because Jesus confirmed Genesis 2:24-25 when He said to the Pharisees who wanted to know his position on divorce, He answered them, “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:6-9). In other words, God is the creator of marriage, therefore, no one including the couple or the husband and wife must cause separation of the union. This is Christ’s teaching on marriage, it is a permanent and inseparable union so long as both husband and wife are alive.

It is instructive to note that since marriage is built on faithfulness and trust, an unfaithful spouse may separate what God has joined together. It is for this reason Jesus said in Matthew’s account of the Gospel, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9) This statement may sound like once a person commits adultery it is an automatic termination of the marriage. What it means is that adultery or unfaithfulness could be a necessary grounds for divorce, however, Jesus’s teaching on forgiveness and reconciliation, gives the victim or hurting spouse an opportunity to save the marriage so long as the offending or adulterous party is willing to repent. Divorce must not be the first option or an easy decision for a spouse who has been a victim of unfaithfulness in marriage. We must prove to God that we are determined to obey Him and to make the marriage work at all costs, except for the non-cooperation of the offending party who may be bent on committing adultery because he or she desires to leave the marriage. However, suppose an adulterous spouse can be forgiven for the sake of maintaining the sanctity and continuity of the union. In that case, Jesus greatly admonishes us to temper justice with mercy through forgiveness and reconciliation.

In the absence of the sin of unfaithfulness, and also the threat of one losing his or her life in an abusive relationship, Jesus greatly admonishes us to desist from divorce and remarrying over issues that can be resolved by both parties. The Pharisee said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” 5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. (Mark 10:4-5). In other words, divorce and remarriage are the creation of human beings and not God. Our sinfulness or disobedience has tempered with God’s original plan for marriage. Dear friends, if unfaithfulness can be forgiven then all other weaknesses and offences in marriage can also be forgiven, therefore, if we fail to amicably resolve our marital issues and easily give up without the intention to divorce and remarry, then, Jesus is telling us that, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12) In other words, simply divorcing one’s spouse based on resolvable challenges or divorcing without any determination and consistency to resolve the marital issues renders one adulterous in his or her next marriage so long as both parties are still alive. This is a caveat to those who take advantage of married couples who have separated for a short while because of their marital issues. Ample and reasonable time must be given to married couples to fix their marriages with the support of counsellors, and family and friends who believe in the beauty and sacred institution of marriage.

Beloved in the Lord, what is Jesus’ attitude to us after we have committed adultery in divorcing and remarrying without spending ample time working on our previous marital union? It is important to come to Jesus in repentance for He understands our weakness and can offer us forgiveness and restoration just as He said to the adulterous woman, “…go, and sin no more.” (John 11:8). Again, in John’s Gospel, Jesus became the living water to the Samaritan woman who has had at least five husbands in the past. The woman, ” leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, 29 “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.” (John 4:28-29). Dear friend in the Lord, you may have ended your marriage and have remarried for obvious reasons or reasons best known to you. Let us ask forgiveness for separating what God had joined together and ask Jesus to grant us grace and success in our new marriage. Let us let go of the past hurts and frustrations even as we give our best in our new marriage to avoid another separation or divorce.

In summary, marriage is the creation of God but divorce and remarriage is the creation of humanity. God initiated marriage, therefore, He said, “… I hate divorce!” (Malachi 2:16). Let us pursue love, forgiveness and reconciliation above anything else to ensure the sustenance and continuity of our marriages. For those who divorce and remarry, we are assured of Jesus’ compassion and love, however, we must be determined to allow God’s will to be done in our lives in our new marriage so that we do not continue to live in a state of adultery.

PRAYER
Holy Spirit, we humbly pray that you protect our marriages from all manner of attacks and separation. May we emulate the perfect examples of Jesus in sustaining our marriages to the glory of God. Amen.