DESOLATION (SONG OF SONGS 3:1-5)

REFLECTION

The theme for our reflection is “Desolation.” Desolation is a feeling of sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned. It is also a situation of unhappiness borne out of loneliness. We shall reflect on the fact that as part of the reasons God created the institution of marriage, God created marriage to overcome desolation through companionship and security. In other words, everyone deserves love, companionship, and security to overcome desolation.

Beloved in the Lord, marriage provides companionship and security that overcomes desolation. One of the most precious and inexplicable feelings in the world is to have a life partner and companion who is always dependable and present in times of challenges and in times of joy. Solomon’s wife wakes up in the middle of the night and experiences desolation, troubled by the absence of her husband, she said, “All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. 2 I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. 3 The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. “Have you seen the one my heart loves?” 4 Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go…” (Song of Songs 3:1-4) In other words, Solomon’s wife could not cope with the desolation and the absence of her husband, therefore, she goes out to look for him the dead of the night. A spouse who truly loves you will always be worried about your whereabouts, especially, at the odd times of the day. In as much as the wife was lonely, she was also concerned about the safety of her husband. Marriage truly provides security and companionship. It is for this reason, “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”…Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:18, 22-23). For the first time, Adam enjoyed companionship from his kind, he expressed joy and deep satisfaction for God’s provision of companionship and security. Indeed, marriage gurantees companionship and security, and is God’s creation and gift to a man and a woman who are in love with each other to overcome desolation, share parenthood and find fulfilment in life together. It is our mutual responsibility as partners in marriage relationship to provide companionship, affection and a sense of security for each other. It must not be the responsibility of only one partner to provide companionship and security.

Solomon further teaches us how to overcome desolation and promote companionship and security in marriage when he wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:9-11, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labour: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” Let us not neglect our spouses or sacrifice our marriages on the altar of business, work and instatiable quest for material possessions, wealth and power. Again, let us not be tempted to destroy our marriages through unfaithfulness and adultery lest we subject our spouses to desolation. Some spouses have also become obsessed with the acquisition of academic certificates and the pursuit of political position or power to the extent that they have subjected their spouses to desolation. For some husbands, once they provide money and all the material needs for their wives, they are under the erroneous impression that their wives are happy. The truth is that beyond the money and material needs, women need attention, affection and a sense of security which money and other material possession cannot give. Money and material possessions give temporary happiness but companionship always overcomes desolation and provides joy, peace and a sense of security.

In our busy and unpredictable world, we must learn to have time for our spouses and family. We must make the time by prioritising our spouses or family first in our schedules. One of the reasons some spouses grieve endlessly when they lose their partners is because of the strong bond of intimacy and companionship that they have enjoyed in their marriage. Conversely, some grieve with deep regret for failing to love and provice companionship or genuine affection to their deceased spouse when he or she was alive. It has just dawned on them that they took their spouse’s love and efforts for granted. We are greatly encouraged to give our best to our spouses when they are alive so that when they depart from us we shall be proud and cherish every moment we ever spent with them.

In summary, we have discovered that desolation or loneliness in marriage is not God’s desire for a married couple. Among other important reasons for God creating the institution of marriage, He created marriage to overcome desolation through companionship and security. Truly, everyone deserves love and companionship to overcome desolation. Shalom.

PRAYER

Holy Spirit, grant us wisdom and discernment to effectively manage our work and businesses such that we shall prioritise our marriages by providing companionship and a deep sense of security to our spouses. Amen.