NO BIBLE NO BREAKFAST DAILY BIBLE REFLECTIONS AND MORE

At age twenty one, I was in the final year of my apprenticeship training in sewing and fashion design at Ho in the Volta Region of Ghana. My father is a mechanic and my mother is a trader at the Ho central market. After my Senior High School education, I developed passion and love for fashion design and decided to enrol at one of the popular fashion schools in the Ho municipality. My parents were not excited about my career path, it was their dream that I will become a nurse. It took our pastor’s intervention for them to reluctantly enrol me in the fashion school. During my second year of apprenticeship, I had already advanced and was taking up challenges with ease that even third-year apprenticeship trainees struggle with. Our teacher and director of the school developed an interest in my progress and assured me that she will retain me as one of her instructors when I graduate. Apparently, my parents had also taken notice of my remarkable achievement and progress and were proud of me.

In January 2018 a friend asked me to accompany her to a wedding ceremony at the International Revival Ministry, a charismatic church in one of the suburbs of Ho. At the wedding reception, a gentleman approached me and asked if I cared for a bottle of drink. He used the opportunity to introduce himself as a friend of the groom. I declined the offer and told him I was fine. After we had closed from the wedding ceremony, my friend and I were at the bus stop waiting to board a taxi home. To my surprise, the gentleman who introduced himself as Alex and a friend of the groom pulled up in front of us in a beautiful Mercedez Benz sedan. He smiled at me saying, ” I offered you a drink which you refused, I hope you won’t refuse a ride from me, please where are you heading to?” My friend hurriedly answered, “We are going to Ho-Bankoe!” She held my hand and dragged me along into the back seat of the car. After alighting my friend at her house, Alex insisted that I join him at the front of the vehicle which I reluctantly obliged.

He mentioned my name “Etornam”, and for the first time, I looked at him directly in the face. I realised he was not bad looking at all. Alex was tall and fair in complexion. He had a great sense of humour. He began to woo me and suggested that we make a brief stop at his house since his place is actually along the route to mine. I got to know through our conversation that he was an engineer with the Town and Country Planning Department and had his own bungalow. I must confess that I had also started developing an interest in him but had to pretend I wasn’t so that he doesn’t think that I am easy to catch. We got to his place around 2:00 pm. He had a very comfortable residence. The air-conditioned sitting room was very welcoming. He asked if I cared for anything but my response was negative.

He excused himself and came back dressed in a white polo T-shirt and a nice pair of khaki shorts. He made himself comfortable beside me. We were both relaxed and chatty. He brought out a bottle of champagne he had in the refrigerator which he offered to me to either take along with me or share with him. I opted to share with him. At 5:00 pm, I told him I had to go home. He pulled a face as though he was sad and said, “I feel so lonely in this bungalow, I hope you will become my wife in the near future, you are such a beautiful lady, Etornam will you be the love of my life?”. I sighed with surprise and exclaimed “Alex, you barely know me, and you already proposing to me?!” He replied, I am a civil engineer Etornam, I can tell the quality of good structure when I see it. The few hours I have spent with you is enough for me to know that you will make a suitable partner” I smiled and responded, “Let us give ourselves sometime Alex, for now, we are just friends”

It was time for me to leave and as promised he insisted to drop me off at home. As we walked towards the front door, Alex held my hand and pulled me over to himself and started to kiss me passionately. I couldn’t resist him because I felt emotionally drawn to him all the time we were together. The kissing led to full-blown sex. Alex and I did the forbidden, something I vowed I will never do with a man unless we were married. I felt terrible but convinced that he was coming into my life for good.

We began meeting regularly and often chat on Whatsapp. After a month, I realised I had missed my period and after going for the pregnancy test, what I feared most at my age had happened, I was pregnant. I requested to meet Alex at his bungalow to share the information with him. Our relationship was barely three months old and I was pregnant. A lot of questions ran through my mind. I finally met him at his house. “Alex, I am pregnant, what shall we do?” Alex looked disappointed after hearing the news. He said while scratching his head ” Etornam, can’t you do something about it” I asked “Something like what?!” He replied, ” I know a very good clinic in town that has professionals who can solve this problem for you” I retorted, “Alex, are you suggesting that it is now my problem?!” He raised his head, looked me in the eyes and said ” I am sorry Etornam, I am not ready to settle now, please abort the pregnancy, I will give you any amount of money you want” Tears began to flow like a waterfall and I walked out of his house.

A few days later, I informed my parents about my situation. My dad had discovered that the man responsible for my pregnancy was in town and was also an engineer capable of taking care of me and the unborn baby. My dad insisted that Alex would have to come and perform the customary marriage rites and marry me as soon as possible. Alex and his parents were later invited by my parents and some of our family elders to discuss the issue and possibly decide on the date for the marriage ceremony. A day before their arrival, Alex called me and in anger, he said to me” Look here lady!, I am a well-accomplished young man, you cannot force me to marry you. I will never marry a seamstress. If you insist on keeping the baby, that is fine but I am never going to marry you. When the child is of age you can decide to keep him or her or contact me so that I can come for him or her, bye-bye” He hunged up on me after piercing my heart with those hurtful words. I wept throughout the night as I remember the first time we met and the promises Alex made to me. Alex caused me to bring shame and embarrassment to myself and my family. My father was a church elder and my mum was the president of the women’s group in our church. I was part of the praise singers at my church. All these thoughts continued to haunt me. The meeting my parents had with Alex’s family was unsuccessful, it became confrontational and they left in anger. Their decision was that their son will not be forced to marry me but my dad disagreed with them on the basis that Alex was responsible for the pregnancy and as such must marry me.

I went to see our pastor for counselling on what I was going through. Pastor Karl gave me a warm reception at his office and talked to me at length. It became clear that I had to face the consequences of my actions and pray to God for the strength to persevere. I was not going to force a man to get married to me because of pregnancy. I resolved that I am a hardworking lady and will work hard to take care of my child.

My situation drew me closer to God. I am grateful to my pastor for the emotional and spiritual support he gave me throughout the pregnancy to the time I graciously gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The name of my child is Selorm which means “God loves me”. I have been informed that Alex got married to a medical doctor five months after my conception and have relocated to the United State of America. He never called to check up on his child. I managed to find him on Facebook and indeed realised that he had posted his wedding pictures on his Facebook wall.

I currently own my own fashion school at Sowutuom in Accra and by God’s grace, I am married to a petrochemical engineer. His name is Foster. We got married in January 2021. I met him in the latter part of 2018 when I was in my third trimester and in challenging times. He was a loving and caring gentleman. We got married after a year of our friendship. It was hard to believe that a young man of my husband’s age and status would develop a love for a lady in my situation and then go ahead to get married to me. The grace of God is indeed sufficient.

My dear friend, pregnancy, childbirth, being broken-hearted and being a single mother are not the end of the road for a woman. My parents did not turn their back on me but were very supportive during those challenging times of my life. Although my recklessness brought them shame and embarrassment at church, they continued to embrace me and my child with unconditional love. Today, I am a happily married woman. Even if I were to remain single, I will be happy and grateful to God because He continues to be gracious to me. I am accomplished in my profession and blessed with a beautiful girl and a lovely husband. Love at first sight did not work for me, it brought me disappointment and pain. Taking time to know my husband and to develop trust and love for him was worth it. My dear friend, you may make mistakes in life but learn and deal with the consequences and challenges of those mistakes as a learner of life and not a loser of life. God always gives us another chance to make things right therefore repent, take the chance and start again for with Christ in your life you will surely find the route to the life God has destined for you. Stay blessed.

Short story by Jean-Paul Agidi (Rev)